Oct 17

Chinese Proverb

Last Wednesday, I had surgery on my eyes.  The night before my surgery, I stopped and picked up Chinese food.  We enjoyed a fun family conversation with good food.

In case you’re wondering, during the surgery, no incisions are needed and they don’t have to pop out my eyeballs.  That may make you feel better or queezy.  It depends which side of the fence you were standing on.

The surgery was a success.  Dr. Katz spent nearly 2 hours working on moving three muscles on each eye.  You may remember this is to get my forward gaze closer to one image in my view.  At this point the images seem closer, but certainly not down to one.  I have a follow-up appointment on Thursday at 9:00.  At that point I expect him to say, “let’s wait six weeks and see how you’re doing.”

In the meantime, I continue to heal the best way I now how… by working and acting as if I’m normal.  I can see better than when the attached picture was taken.  Surgery was Wednesday.  Thursday I worked from home and that evening went to Colin’s CC meet.  That’s when the swelling really started.  It was hard to see, but I still caught a glance of him long enough to yell, “Way to Go Wagner!”.  Friday was rough.  That’s when the picture was taken.  I still managed to work from home.  As long as you smile, that’s all that people can see over the phone.  Saturday wasn’t much better, but it was the homecoming dance and both Grant and Jessica had dates.  They were handsome and beautiful, respectively.  🙂  Sunday is when the swelling started to go down.  Then on Monday it was well enough for me to drive.

When we’re sick, people always wish for us to “get well soon!”.  I take this as more of an order than just a wish.  It’s hard to get back into the swing of things.  But, if you get out of bed, take a shower and push yourself, you’re going to feel better sooner.  When you become dormant and begin to woller in self-pity, that’s when you’re in trouble.  You’re only as sick as you think you are.  Don’t let people pity you and tell you that you’re a mess.

I’d been putting off writing this post.  Then, this evening Connie wanted to watch “Glee”.  So, I sat down in front of my computer and started moving some papers around.    There laid my fortune from our meal last Wednesday.  On one side was the word for me to learn.   “Beer”.  I think I’ve got that one.  One the other side it read, “It’s always better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.”  Appropriate.  Hence the reason for my mid-week post.

Oct 08

Hindsight is 20/20

On September 1st, I had an appointment with Dr. Katz, my neuro-ophthalmologist.  I still can’t get over that word.  When Dan Webster put that one in his big book he must have been very confused.  “What the…?”  Anyway, Dr. Katz took several measurements of my vision and informed me that the results of the blood test, done on August 10th, was negative.

The long and short of it is that my “vision has plateaued”.  Doesn’t that sound nice.  What that means is that my vision doesn’t suck any more or less than the last time he saw me.  Unfortunately, it also means the June surgery either didn’t “take” or the measurements are in question.  Who’s fault is that?  Well, that’s a tough one.  It would be my lack of focus, concentration or well … it’s behind us now.

My next surgery has been scheduled.  Before the rooster crow’s this Wednesday, Connie and I will checking in at OSU Medical Center.  I’m not sure about the rooster, but we’ll be there at 6:30.  I can remember staying at the Wood County Fair, as a kid, and it seemed like those damn roosters didn’t have a clock at all.  If all goes well, I should be home that afternoon.

Just a reminder from my earlier posts, this surgery will allow my double vision to be on the same horizontal plane.  In 3-4 months I’ll have another surgery to bring my forward-looking gaze on the same vertical plane.  It’s a lot easier to explain if I can use my hands.  There is a risk of too many surgeries because of scar tissue, but we’ll cross then bridge when we get to it.

After that comes my frontalis (not a lobotomy and not a whiskey) sling.  That’ll allow my right lid to open with the raise of my brow.  I’m proof that “good looks” isn’t everything.

All of this hindsight reminds me of how it is to see with my eyes.  I know I don’t look the same, based on the confused looks that I get from many kids and even more adults.  I like it when people ask, “hey, what happened to your eye?”.  In the other people’s defense, they’ve never known me with two good eyes.

Seeing with my eyes sucks and it never doesn’t.  But, it’s interesting that my memory of seeing different things is perfect.  That is, at least what is in MY field of vision.  It doesn’t mater if it’s a kid’s event, a football game or checking out my wife.  🙂  It makes me happy to recall those things and even dream with two good eyes.